You Decide: Elevator or Stairs?
Cultural norms define how people should act inside of elevators with strangers. But what happens when the elevators themselves have a mind of their own?
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10/9/20255 min read
Your elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor, does it? An insult in the west, but a reality in Albania for many. Little known fact. Most of the older multi-story buildings in Albania are 7 stories tall. Many of them have been refurbished later and have added an 8th floor, with stairs leading up. So, your lift stops on the 7th.
From the Decision Fatigue Files, we explore more of Greg’s First World Problems. We knew prior to traveling in Europe, as many do, that there are a very large number of buildings without elevators. We also knew some would be quirky, small, and even very old. We haven’t been let down in those areas.
One of our must have filters for accommodations is a Working elevator if the residence is on the third floor or higher. (Fourth floor by U.S. definition). Yes. Many will have it listed, and then under more descriptions it will say it is not working. Even so, we compromised knowingly on one in Florence and the stairway was so comical I laughed each time we opened the tiny door to them, until I would quickly run out of breath scaling the very steep 4 flights. “This is NOT happening again” was muttered by me each time too.
We arrived in Vlore, Albania to our accommodation that was 4.5 flights of stairs up. Working elevator was confirmed. Filthy exterior and interior. Loud noises as the doors almost closed completely. Almost. Our host’s father smiled brightly as he waved a round, plastic key chain medallion in front of the sensor that activated the lift. We nodded profusely that we understood, which must have been slightly confusing as the older Albanian generation are still likely to use an up and down nod for “no”, and a side to side for “yes”.
Over the next few days, we exchanged glances and nervous laughter as the elevator would clang, bang and doors screech nearly closed each time. We decided after 4 days or so that we would only use the elevator if we had groceries or I was having a rough time with mobility that day. A couple days later we returned from an outing to find the lighted door call-button dark. That’s a nope for us. The next morning we received a text from the host saying the lift was broken and it would take a week for the motor to be repaired. That sealed it. No more elevator regardless! Repeat of Greg cursing and swearing while gasping on the stairs. Nine days later we got a text notification that the lift was repaired. No thank you. That’s a hard NO.
The next night Shannon and I were in our apartment and heard loud banging and frightened yelling. Joy. My family was right. Apparently, we’re going to disappear in Albania without a trace. Shannon leapt up and was first out the door. We both nosed around the landing outside our apartment and could hear the commotion that was obviously coming from the elevator. I shrugged and was about to say, “Not my circus, not my monkeys” when Shannon charged down the stairs, into the mostly dark stairwell. Great. Years of training about ensuring the scene is secure before going headlong into a situation shouted in my head. Thankfully, the Albanian tourist kidnapper turned out to be a portly little Asian gentleman that was out of breath and very shaken up when we attempted to speak to him. After our attempts to communicate through our apps finally revealed he spoke Mandarin, and of course ours in English, not Shqip as he first thought, he thanked us for checking on him and said his wife may have been the one that let him out of the elevator where he was entrapped behind closed doors for several minutes.
For the remainder of our stay in Vlore, we never once used that lift again, until the final time we exited with our luggage to travel to Tirana.
Sarande’s Elevator to Nowhere. Or Somewhere.
We made contact with the property manager of our apartment as we arrived in Sarande, Albania. He produced a single set of keys as he announced “No Problem” to each of our usual questions. Can we have a second set of keys? Is there another entry/exit to the building?..etc.
The east side of the building has an entrance on the 5th floor. He explained our keychain didn’t have a key to that door after attempting to open it. “No Problem. You don’t need this door anyway.” We more firmly stated we required one and got another, “No problem, I bring tomorrow, is ok?” We all boarded the elevator as he said our apartment is on the 2nd floor. The keychain has a fob that activates the elevator just like the one in Vlore. We nodded understanding as he instructed me to show him. I clearly pushed (2) and it lit up. The elevator moved for a short bit and then stopped, and the doors opened. Our host stepped out and said “One more down” as Shannon and I exchanged confused glances. We descended a flight of stairs and passed the closed elevator doors on that floor as he began unlocking the door to our apartment. Okayyyy.
After a quick tour of the apartment, I asked him to show us the ground floor/west side entry/exit and make sure the key to it worked. Again, he had me operate the elevator. I used the fob and down we went. The door key checked out and we all clambered back into the lift where I hit the (2) and it lit up. This time it moved, stopped, we got off and he announced, “We go up one more” as he again used the stairs, this time upward. What?
Shannon and I burst out laughing after he left, each of us questioning and reaffirming the correct button each time, and yes, the lift randomly stopped on a floor, and he acted like it was nothing unusual. After our previous experience in Vlore with that elevator, we were already overly concerned with this one.
On our next elevator trip out we met a similar fate. We attempted to go to the 5th floor, only for the elevator to stop on the 4th floor. Going back down to the 2nd floor took us to the 1st floor.
We both laugh now, as we exit our apartment and catch the stainless-steel demon waiting with its mouth open on random floors as we pass by, trying to lure us in.
Nope. Not today.
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